We agreed, nay swore to each other that we shall both join the gym and get ourselves not only into shape, but gain some sweet pecs in the process; sealed by a first pump and solemn nod, this is now an unbreakable oath (you think the fellowship of the ring was for real reals? Well, this is way more serious.) Quickly we found ourselves in the situation of "ah shit, we actually have to find a Gym and sort out all the bollocks of subscribing." This proved to be a sweat breaking workout on it's own. He worked his way down the list of local gyms ringing each one (I was spotting for him) each time getting a disappointingly expensive answer to our fees questions; It seems many gyms in Warrington cost so much to join you'll probably lose weight because you can't afford to eat let alone exercise. Moral plummeting, it happened; He lost his shit. The conversation I heard went like this;
"Hi, I'm pricing up fees for gyms in the area, and I'd just like to know how much a monthly subscription to your gym is."
...
"Ok. no. I can't come in I'm at work. Can you just tell me the monthly subscription please?"
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"ah huh, yeah, ok, no love, no, I just want you to tell me the cost to join the gym."
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"Are you able to tell me over the phone?"
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"Why can't you just tell me over the phone? "
This is the point his hand is needed to support his head thinking man style.
"That's stupid, just tell me over the phone, I'm not coming in to ask the same question I've asked you 5 times."
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"Yes I'm local."
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"You don't need to know my name at present."
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"Irrelevant, you don't need to know my address, I only want to know the price of a monthly fee."
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"What? Why on earth do you need to know where I work?"
This is where his tone turns from mildly annoyed to 'your pushing my buttons'
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"Well I'm not telling you where I work."
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"Look Miss, stop asking me stupid questions about my personal life, that has nothing to do with this, just tell me the bloody subscription fee."
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"Do you understand English, then why can't you just answer my question?"
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"JESUS; Do you want to know my shoe size too? How about the name of my first pet? or where I went to school?"
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"Why am I being rude? I'm not being rude."
This is where his buttons are blinking 'DANGER'
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"No darlin' I'm not being rude, if anything you are being rude asking for details about me that are non of your business."
I can only assume the woman on the other end of the conversation dropped the, "I'm just doing my job" line. My friend is a lovely guy, with alot of patience (where we work you need it) but the way we look at things is; unless you're a person with a medical condition, or an obligation of some kind that causes you to take the piss, you are fair game for our disdain (rhyming skills), and will receive it without mercy.
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"WELL THEN, DO YOUR JOB PROPERLY AND JUST TELL ME THE PRICE OF THE FUCKING MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION FEE, PLEEEEEEASE".
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"DEAR GOD. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH? WHY WONT YOU JUST TELL ME THE MONTHLY FEE. CHRIIIIST"
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"oh for fucks sake"
Shoots me a look that says it all 'She's crying'
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"£34 a month."...
"YAAAY, FINALLY, WE GOT THERE!"
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"no, I'm not interested, that's to much. have a nice day"
Immediately his forehead uncreased and he nonchalantly dials the next number.
P.S; I'm throwing the rip off quote in with the post-post-scriptum.
P.P.S; Me and this guy are huge nerds when it comes to cinema, and have a collective knowledge that would make IMDB's toes tingle. We have a game where we drop movie quotes, and have to figure out what film it was from. So, this is for you buddy:
"You ask me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you."
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